Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving 2008

1st Stop:
Allen's parents house for a Ferguson style celebration. . .

2nd Stop:
Nannie and Pa's house to celebrate with the Green's. . .

Final Stop:
Uncle Mike and Aunt Lisa's to party with the Willis Clan . . .

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Listening to Jonah

through a Fisher Price stethoscope . . . :)

Monday, November 24, 2008

childlike euphoria. . .

The essence of Jonah continues to unleash a flood of childlike euphoria in my soul. I have penned ramblings of this order in prior posts but feel compelled to expound as I am desperate to contain the sensitivity and vibrancy of this season, fearing it will pass. . . assured it will pass (as all seasons do).

I have squandered many months and years breathlessly climbing from one rung of expectation to the next on an illusionary ladder of success. Some steps were seemingly imposed by society, several were self-inflicted, and still others were riddled with traces of the Divine. The dagger of perfectionism drove me onward and upward and taunted me with whispers of gloom. Day after day, I fixed my eyes on one rung after another while simultaneously wrestling the insecurity that threatened to cripple my climb. This mad and furious striving appeared to me as light and goodness. . . as the adoption of all things “adult,” and though contentment was seldom found, I was assured that it was waiting to embrace me in the tomorrows lying just beyond temporal sacrifice. I was unaware that every moment of this mad dash to novel heights was suffocating my senses and reddening my world with shades of gray. . . until Jonah.

Amidst the fury of striving, I stumbled through a corridor of serenity, into the sparkle and substance of my dreams. . . Jonah. His life and innocence now spills into my veins, reawakening my senses, allowing me to once again perceive the magnificence of the world around me . . . even on misty and overcast mornings like this one.

Where once the rain seemed like an intrusive force against me, it has become (in these days) an invitation to slow my breath and pace. The water shed from clouds of gray lures me into its grace while saturating my skin in the luminosity and radiance of God. I inhale these drops of majesty with wonder in my eyes and watch as they dance on the vibrant shades of towering trees . . . red, yellow and orange. . . seemingly celebrating their beauty before winter’s slumber.

This keen sensitivity and awareness has not halted my climb. I continue to strive toward greater heights, but my motivation has been renewed. No longer does fulfillment and reward linger in tomorrow. It is here and now. . . in this moment (and in the next). May I continue to see and smell and taste the wonder of God in the present, absorbing traces of his divinity every step of the journey.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

on the brink of 25 weeks

Jonah and I are becoming experts at packing-on-the-pounds. . . 24 and counting (we're up 6 from our last belly post).

This one's for Tarah. . . she specifically asked to see me with clothes on. LoL! And she likes my belly in stripes. :) Love you, Tar!

breath of our covenant

breath of our covenant,
intricately woven behind the veil
you fidget in my deep
a soft reminder of loves power
you are vibrancy
unfolding in damp darkness
a divine etch in creations story

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

23 week Jonah belly. . .

18 lbs and counting. . . :)

sitting down. . .

Jonah measured three weeks big during our ultrasound last week. . . looks like he inherited the big-baby-Willis-gene. Our midwife predicts he'll come early.

He's been quite active lately. . . definitely making his presence known. Every kick and squirm halts my breath. He completely has my heart!

Monday, November 10, 2008

frailty of life. . .

I dreamt in technicolor this weekend of a tragedy so heart wrenching I can hardly speak of it without feeling breathless. The details were vivid and stirred such deep emotion that a sense of loss lingered after I woke (and in a sense lingers still). I won’t delve into the details of the dream, primarily because I don’t want to relive it or remember it years from now, but in short Jonah was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness prior to birth and though he appeared healthy and beautiful in the days subsequent to his delivery, I was filled with the overwhelming knowledge that his life was slipping away before my eyes. . . While feeding him (with the warmth of his body against mine), I would cry, “Live, Jonah, live. . . I need you to live. . .” I felt so helpless. . . so desperate for him to remain with me. My heart aches as I write, though I know this dream is no indication of our current reality or what’s to come. It seems I’ve been ushered closer to the frailty of life and even now, as he squirms in my belly, I am reminded of the monstrosity of blessing embodied in the gift of a healthy child.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

a holy moment shared . . .

In response to a holy moment shared with dear friends journeying toward the sacred covenant of marriage:

I sensed power hovering in the atmosphere as we exposed the intricacies of our journey before you last night. The Holy Spirit is undoubtedly working to prepare your souls (mind, will and emotions) and purify your expectations for the most sacred covenant under heaven. It is our joy to open and invite you in to witness first hand his activity in our story. Continue to hunger for revelation, my friends. I am convinced that humility and a tenacious pursuit of wisdom are the keys to unlocking the riches buried not only in marriage, but in every realm of life.

Never forget: this earth is comprised of two kingdoms, the kingdom of darkness and the kingdom of light. The carnal tendency of humanity is to settle into the shadows, cloaked in fear, but we have been redeemed and inhabited by the very essence of Almighty God and are no longer prisoners of the night. We have been empowered to arise and move into realms of abundance and blessing that far exceed our capacity to envision. Purpose to live in the radiance of his glory, though it means all will be illuminated (even your darkest colors), for naked vulnerability positions the human soul for purification, healing and revelation of the mysteries of the kingdom of God.

May you daily see and hear in the spirit a beckoning to deeper realms of glory and may you consistently draw from the Divine power that inhabits your souls, victoriously overcoming every evil hoard seeking to breed dissention in your home. I am confident that marriage will be the most sanctifying experience of your life and together you will climb to plains of revelation and liberation you never thought possible. We stand with you, believing that God is uniting you for greatness and will guide you through every peak and valley. May the years of togetherness that lie ahead awaken slumbering potential in your souls and fulfill the overarching purposes of the Divine . . .

We love you.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

the dawning of a new day. . .

I am in awe of the recent outpouring of passion from the American people (conservative and liberal . . . of every age, ethnicity, and gender) and its impact on this country. A new day has dawned in America. I sensed it deeply last night and it lingers still. Though many continue their attempts to breed dissention, the vast majority have been awakened to the necessity of shedding prejudice and hatred and have purposed to cast aside differences and unite as one people under a common cause. I have seen hope in the eyes of the oppressed and smiles on the faces of those who bear the wounds of the injustice in our nations history.

We have opted for the path of least resistance, settled into cynicism and wallowed in our political and religious woes for far too long. I am convinced that positive change hinges on our ability to rise from the ashes of our past and toil for the convictions that grip us . . . to vocalize our concerns in a constructive manner and be an active participant in our country’s democracy . . . Never before have so many individuals seen and embraced this truth and exercised their civil liberties. This is a pivotal point in our nation’s history. Truly, we are the Joshua generation, entering into the Promised Land prophesied by those who came before us. . .

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

When I dream of Jonah. . .

I see the face of my princely husband. . . and I melt.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Honeysuckle Hill

Allen and I rarely venture beyond the city and suburbs into rural territory, but recently the beauty of fall has beckoned me into wide open spaces. I’ve longed to escape the city lights and get lost in the hills of Tennessee under a blanket of stars. . . Tonight my longing was fulfilled. We ventured to Honeysuckle Hill, a farm about forty-five minutes west of our home. The cool, crisp night air was refreshing. We lassoed fake bull heads, swung on saddle swings, drank hot chocolate and apple cider, rode on a huge trailer behind a tractor with our feet propped on bales of hay, saw three shooting stars, and experienced our first corn maze. We were more interested in searching for private corners of the labyrinth, than finding our way out. I didn’t know kissing behind cornstalks could be so magical. :) It was quite a romantic adventure. The simplicity and organic nature of the country soothed our souls. . . Cheers to love and a much needed escape from the ordinary!

Looks like we captured a ghost in the cornstalks, but it's actually steam from Allen's hot chocolate. . . pretty neat, eh?