shades of hope. . .

The baby boy growing in my belly is changing me more rapidly than I ever expected. My waistline is steadily expanding, and my ever-evolving shape is coupled with an intense sensitivity that I cannot describe. Those who know me well are acquainted with the tenderness of my soul. I am easily moved. . . all things are sacred, but in recent days I’ve sensed that my heart is peaked to absorb the divine in all that is typical, mundane and ordinary. The tiniest things trigger tears, not often the sorrowful kind, but tears of joy and expectancy. . . Articulating what I’ve been experiencing is a bit frustrating as I feel my vocabulary is too limited to adequately deliver the stirring within. It’s as if all things are technicolor, riddled with vibrancy. . . shades of hope. . . The atmosphere seems light and playful, full of sparkle and bloom. . . Perhaps, the child stifled in my soul by years of adult masquerade is finding liberation in this preparatory phase of parenthood. Could it be that Jonah will usher me into realms of childlikeness I abandoned long ago and remind me of the wonder and marvel of our existence? Could it be that his sheer presence, even now (though veiled within me), holds revelatory power. . . power to increase my receptivity to the whisper of the divine in every moment? Fascination fills me. I expected to be revolutionized by motherhood, but I did not anticipate this. . . this stirring. . . this profound evolution of heart and soul. . .