Wednesday, November 24, 2010

4D Peek

Less than 2 hours now until the personhood of our baby is defined! It feels too good to be true! I’ve been telling myself all day there’s a chance the baby’s position won’t allow for gender determination, as to keep my expectations low to prevent disappointment, but I don’t think it’s working. I fully expect these to be my baby’s final nameless hours and will likely be devastated if they’re not! ;)

There has been much talk about gender lately in our home and amongst our family and friends. Everyone asks about my intuition on the matter and of course like most moms I do have assumptions . . . assumptions rooted in revelation and deep stirrings surrounding this pregnancy that have led me to believe God is actively preparing me to nurture a daughter.

Yet, in the realm of desire, I am genuinely neutral. I have always felt we would share our home with another boy and at least one girl (though my ideal family would be 2 boys and 2 girls if I could choose and handle the pressure). That being said I can think of countless perks of having another boy. It would be a wonderful gift to Jonah- a friend to play ball with and camp with and chase girls with (they would be quite a team in this arena I’m sure). I’m entirely prepared in the realm of cloths and toys. And perhaps most importantly, there is something profoundly moving about being chosen by God to raise male children, priests of future homes, particularly in a society that seems to be lacking in quality men . . . I believe Willis boys are a rare breed and would be honored to be the vessel through which God multiples them into the world!

Then of course there’s the novelty and beauty of a baby girl. . . The grace and charm of a feminine spirit would undoubtedly be enthusiastically welcomed. Though I must admit there is a sea of insecurity within me surrounding the idea of nurturing a daughter. The mere thought simultaneous stirs excitement and hesitancy, I suddenly become highly critical of the woman I have become . . . all my areas of lack, those things not worthy of imitation . . . and there are many! However, imagining her with Allen and all that would subsequently be touched and healed in me trumps my insecurity. . . I am confident her essence would change us and our home in profoundly beautiful ways. . . Pink and purple, ribbons and bows, flowers and butterflies. . . Yes, it would be an extraordinary addition, wouldn’t it?!

1 comment:

Debbie said...

Jessica, such beautiful,inspiring words.What a mature woman you've become and obviously a wonderful mother. God will provide you the baby your family needs, He indeed knows what His plan is for their life. I'm so thankful you love God and you'll raise your children to do the same, He will certainly bless your life abundantly as you live it for Him. Please continue your writings because you have a gift of being able to express you feelings beautifully!